You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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