this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You need a sexual gate keeper
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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