In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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