do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
