Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
