I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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