you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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