God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
