I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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