I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
