I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
