you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
