She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
