Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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