But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
