I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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