You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
