I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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