My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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