that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
