normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
