I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize