i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
