The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
