I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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