i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize