I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
