its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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