using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
