In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I could fuck to npr.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize