you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
