NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
