so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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