it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
this will be a night to untag.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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