just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
