you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
