I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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