I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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