I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
