You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize