Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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