He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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