I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
