i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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