I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize