i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
