margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
