It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize