new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
