Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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