Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
