butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
