"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize