You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
