I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
