Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
