the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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