Sry I called you an 8
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
