You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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